Feb 21, 2010 11:44 PM ET
On Sunday’s episode of Desperate Housewives, Robin Gallagher (Julie Benz) is the new stripper on the block, and she’s making quite a first impression. At a party to celebrate Katherine’s return to Wisteria Lane (that was quick!), the Desperate Husbands ogle and delight at learning Robin’s former chosen career path. The Housewives are collectively peeved that Susan brought such an element to their precious cul-de-sac, but little do they know that strippers are magical! Over the course of the hour, each of the Housewives learns to appreciate Robin’s special talents. “She can’t bring any more crazy to this street than I did,” Katherine says. Wanna make a bet?
At Casa Scavo, Parker’s friends pile into the house and run upstairs to his bedroom. They’re spying on Robin with binoculars while she showers, which sends a high-and-mighty Lynette over to Susan’s house to confront the strident strumpet. But Robin’s got a surprise for Lynette: Little Parker offered Robin money to have sex with him!
Needless to say, Lynette and Tom need to have a serious talk with Parker. Parker says he needs to have sex, since he’s the only one of his 16-year-old friends who hasn’t. Tom is a model dad, telling his son that one day, when he’s emotionally ready, he’ll have all the sex he wants — after marriage, of course. Lynette is pleased. “Do you think he bought it?” Tom asks, explaining that guys always pay for sex in some way — dinner, flowers, or antique rings, like the one Tom bought Lynette just that very morning for their anniversary. Lynette is incensed.
Later in bed, Lynette withholds sex until she makes Tom realize that she has sex with him not because of the things he buys her, but by the things he does to show that he cares. Aw, problem solved!
But Tom’s attitude gives her pause, so she apologizes to Robin for being so closed-minded. Robin accepts, and asks that she and Tom close the blinds when they do it. Then she winks, and I half-expect that little sparkly special effect to glint off her teeth it’s so cutesy.
Bree and Orson are beginning the long, slow thaw of their marriage. Things appear civil (which is significant considering how little time has elapsed since Karl’s death), but clearly the passion is gone.
Robin shows up at Bree’s test kitchen; she wants to make Susan and Mike a cake for helping her. Bree tells her she’ll help her. “You rock, Bree,” she exclaims. “I rock,” Bree replies drolly. Their girl talk leads to Bree revealing her intimacy troubles with Orson. Anecdotally, Robin suggests that Orson’s wheelchair hasn’t snuffed out his passion.
That night, Bree arrives at home to find Orson looking all Rear Window-y listening to Tchaikovsky, which he says is “sensual.” Okaaay… This inspires Bree to give Orson a classical music-scored lap dance. To say it’s awkward is an understatement, even before she gets an earring caught on her sweater, Orson runs over her foot with his wheelchair and she falls to the floor. But it